infreefall | redacted ★ claude

I'm the last person that gets to demand anyone tell them anything.

(Claude, your secrets. He has no right demanding others spill their thoughts to him even if he picks at them.)

It's better that way, anyway... I already knew enough about what was going to happen that week. (Knowing more would have made it harder to lie and tell the truth.) The less I knew, the better for everyone involved.

(Yeah. He was... involved in some things that week. He's been involved in a lot of things here.)

Fine for now. Things aren't over yet.

Right... Your team was responsible for Archer-san, wasn't it?

[ teammates covering up for each other's murders... it's just like that sometimes. ]

I know, I know. But I know we can win, even if we don't know much about this monster or virus or whatever it is. We've come too far to mess it up now.

I didn't know it was going to be him, but yes.

(Unfortunate situations all around that week.)

Exactly. With everyone together again, nothing can stop us.

(Everyone's spirits are already up and that's... a lot by itself.)

It's because he volunteered, too.

[ unfortunate, maybe, but sometimes... it's rabbit season. ]

Mm. So I'm not that worried. It is kind of frustrating that we have to wait to finish it, though.

So I've heard.

(RIP Soo-won who had no choice this week apparently. )

Consider it a break instead of a wait. After everything and before what might be the final fight? Everyone can use one.

... It's good to spend time with everyone again, too.

Mm... I think I'd rather win first, though, so we can all have some time together without all the pressure. It would be a little easier to relax that way.

...But I am still glad we have the time at all. We've all got stuff to get back to and all, important stuff, but... I don't really want to leave everyone here behind. It'll be weird not having you around to talk to anymore.

Rest when you can. Fight when you have to.

(And right now, there's... nothing to fight.)

Yeah. You know, I was thinking... I've never really met anyone like you or Hikaru before. There's no one like you back in Fodlan or Almyra. Everyone sort of just lets me do my own thing, even if they have questions. Even Teach leaves me alone for the most part.

(There's no one back home that grabs him by the collar and shakes him to open up like Ochako or Hikaru.)

That's... actually good advice. Sounds like something my teacher would say.

[ it's a little odd, coming from claude, but somehow he keeps finding new ways to surprise her. and it makes it a little easier to believe he'll win that war of his. ]

Sounds like you needed someone like us, though. [ she smiles, kicking her feet idly from wherever they're sitting. ] So it sounds like some good came out of being stuck here after all, huh?

(To be fair though, Claude will probably spend the next five years skipping sleep to focus on w a r and keeping his own dang country together during it all but that's fine. No one has to know how hard Claude really works when no one is looking, especially back home once he claims his title and becomes a true leader.)

They sound like a good teacher. Make sure to listen to them. They'll help you get through anything if you pay attention.

(Speaking from experience, there. But hmm...)

Maybe... (It's kind of amazing how much he's opened up in two months here compared to all of his years in Fodlan.) There's someone back home, my professor. She isn't as direct as either of you but she always had a way of drawing me out towards her.

It was nice, really. (And he laughs lightly,) She was the kind of person I wanted to be more myself around. Because I could be myself around her.

But I guess I needed a bigger push, still.

(And he found that push here.)

I know he will. He's... already helped me through a lot.

[ she's assuming claude says that because his professor did the same for him, but. once he finishes, ochako's leaning forward a little, grinning slyly. ]

Are you saying you actually trust someone with who you really are? [ scandalous, claude! absolutely scandalous! ] I never thought I'd see the day!

(Oh, what a cute smile...)

I'd trust her with my life. More than that, I'd trust her with my dream, too.

(He can admit this proudly! He loves his professor a lot. The first person in his life to ever really inspire him and make him feel like anything was possible.)

There are things I still can't tell her but I will, some day, I promise. It's not like here where there aren't any politics getting in the way.

(Politics truly ruin everything.)

What, you don't tell everyone about that?

[ it doesn't sound like something that should have to be a secret? ]

Even if you can't tell her now, I'm glad you have someone like that at home. You just have to win that war, right? Then you can make your dream happen? You'll be done in no time.

[ it's not that simple and ochako knows it, but like. it's easier to think about it this way, and she has more faith in claude than she'd maybe like to admit. ]

Everyone would think I was a madman. They'd take away my title and hide me away if they didn't chase me out the country.

(Things are so complicated back home, Ochako.)

Yeah. (He'll pretend it's that simple. In some ways, now that he remembers who will be at his side, it really is that easy.) It'll take awhile still but don't worry about it.

I'll have home all cleaned up and ready for your grand visit. ... I might surprise you, too.

Then they're wrong. [ it really isn't that simple, ochako! ] It's a good dream - one that they should all support.

And I'm going to worry no matter what. We're friends, right? That's what friends do when someone they care about is in danger... but I know you'll do it.

[ there's a soft laugh. ]

You make it sound like such a big deal... I'll be looking forward to it, though! I like surprises.

I know, but I have a lot of people I need to convince still.

(Fantasy racism is real.

But hah, he just gives her a smile at that. He really hopes he'll be a different person when they meet again after the Realm. He has his dream but he also has a private, personal wish that will come true if his dream becomes reality,)

This will certainly be a surprise. (He says like he's keeping a joke all to himself. A secret. Heh.) I've never told you much about myself. I kind of forgot, you know? And the same goes for you, too, right?

Since we have time... why don't we get to know each other? We're actually able to now.

[ ...oh. well, he isn't wrong! she is surprised, and it shows! they did talk about this before, but maybe ochako just wasn't expecting him to open up so soon? ]

Okay.

[ problem is, she doesn't really know where to start? maybe... ]

But first... Is it okay if I call you by your given name? Hikaru-san said I should ask, since we're friends and all.

(And that gets him to smile again. He's quiet for a moment, seemingly considering the request... It should be an easy answer, right? But she's actually asked a much more complicated question than she thought.)

Yes. (She can call him by his given name but he continues,) I'm sure you mean "Claude" but... it's "Khalid." My real name is Khalid.

(Surprise.)

[ wow he really is just full of surprises, isn't he? though she's very obviously curious about that, ochako doesn't ask. instead she says: ]

Whatever I think your name might be doesn't really matter compared to what you want me to call you. [ . . . ] But okay. Khalid-san.

[ she seems pleased to have this privilege anyway. ]

(Claude, or rather, Khalid, also looks pleased.)

It's been a long time since anyone's called me that. (Today is his first time hearing it in years.) I've missed it.

It's a better name than "Claude" anyway! (And now, he's complaining,) Everyone's named that in Fodlan!

(EVERYONE. It's such a generic name back home.)

[ she's about to ask why that is, but - she just starts laughing instead. ]

That's true. "Khalid" sounds much nicer than "Claude." I like it.

(He's also laughing because he completely agrees!)

Right? (It's so much nicer.) I like it, too. It's who I really am, after all.

(And there's so much to unpack there but at the end of the day, he's always been proud of that part of him. Hiding it was really hard.)

[ hearing that... ah, she can't think about it too hard. she won't.

still - ]

Thank you for telling me. All I really wanted was for you to feel comfortable enough to be yourself, anyway, you know?

[ so hearing that really does make her happy for him. ]

No, thank you. (He shakes his head,) For encouraging me.

(He raises a hand to his chest, right over his heart and gives her a bow. It isn't anything too fancy-- he doesn't want to embarrass her too much but he knows that probably won't stop her from reacting that way anyway.)

I've kept secrets for so long. Far longer than necessary, even. I've spent so long dreaming about a future where I can be accepted for who I am... I didn't realize that time could be now. Maybe I was more afraid than I thought? Hah! But it's nice to be honest. At least, a little more honest.

[ hhhh it does embarrass her, just a little, so she blushes and looks away. ]

You... really don't have to do that.

[ it seems silly to do all that for something that seems so simple to her, but maybe it's just a noble thing? nobles are very weird. ]

I'm glad, though. Some secrets are fine and all, but... You deserve to have people you don't have to hide from.

Sorry, it's a habit.

(Being a noble and [redacted] and all that. But especially after something like this that feels so personal to him, you know?)

Some secrets are fine... it makes things more surprising later, right?

(Like the ones he wants to save for Ochako.)

But now you know one of my secrets. (One of his greatest ones, even.) What will you tell me now, hm?

(He's teasing,)

I told you about my dream before. (Even if he couldn't explain it very well at the time.) What about you?

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