infreefall | redacted ★ claude

No judging.

(He's like... the least judgmental person in his canon.)

Okay. So...

[ she is going to just... keep her eyes trained on the floor because it is embarrassing to talk about, especially compared to someone with a dream like his. but she still doesn't shy away from the truth. ]

Most people are heroes because they want to save people, you know? At least, that's what they tell people. That's how it's supposed to be - heroes help people because there's someone who needs them. And it's because they do that kind of thing that people start to like them, and they get fans and stuff - especially kids, because seeing heroes fighting villains and winning and helping people is just... really cool. So pretty much every kid wants to be a hero at some point, including me.

But then my quirk manifested, and - it's a really good one. Not for combat, like the heroes we'd see in the news, but for other stuff. Moving things, mostly.

[ she wrings her hands together as continues. ]

My family owns a construction business, but since quirks are a lot more common now than when they started, it's - they don't get as much business as they used to, and the costs of running the business haven't gone down any. So we're completely broke. It's been that way my whole life, so when I first got my quirk, I thought it would be perfect. I could help save their business just my moving stuff around on my own...

...But my parents said no. My dad told me that they wanted me to follow my own dream instead - which is great, don't get me wrong! But my dream was just to take care of them, and hero work pays well if you're popular enough, so... That's why. I didn't choose to become a hero to help people. I just need the money, for my family.

[ maybe that's not the only reason anymore. there's been so much more on her mind both before the realm and during everything that's happened here, but. ochako won't deny how it started, or how it still feels like a pretty shallow, selfish reason to call herself a hero.

she smiles, though! it's a pretty obvious attempt to cover her discomfort with this part of herself, but she's trying! ]

But I'm still just a student anyway, so I've still got a long way to go before I can make enough money to help them out. I still have to graduate first!

(And he's just going to tilt his head ever so slightly to the side, raising a brow at Ochako. He just looks... confused?)

Was that supposed to be embarrassing?

(He's confused! What about that was supposed to be embarrassing, Ochako!!!)

[ she! covers her face! ]

It is! You're supposed to be a hero because you want to help people, not because you need the money! And... I don't know, it's just embarrassing to admit how hard our situation is to other people. Even me going to U.A. is... I can only do it because they've worked so hard, and I can't even get a side job to help out because the schedule for school won't allow it, and...!

[ ochako, you're rambling. ]

With money, you can buy security and necessities. From that, you can get comfort, happiness, and peace. We can be romantic and say it isn't; that money can't buy happiness and you can live without it but at the end of the day, money is important.

(He'd be a terrible leader if he didn't understand economics.)

You're doing this to help yourself and your family. There's nothing shameful about that. It's noble and admirable. I know plenty of people who have done amazing things all for their families and money. They're some of the most incredible people I know.

(Lysithea fighting to restore her family's honor. The greatest mage he knows. Raphael to take care of his sister after their parents died. The strongest brawler at the academy. Then there's Leonie who puts in so many hours of training just to pay back her village for paying her tuition to come to the academy. The most promising young mercenary in the Alliance.)

Admitting your situation is difficult is... well, difficult. But anyone who gives you a hard time for your dream and motivations is a fool.

Well, I know that, but you might be surprised by how many people would judge me for it. Especially after Stain...

[ wait he doesn't know about stain. hm. ]

That's a villain that showed up a few months ago in my world - Stain, the Hero Killer. They said his plan was to purge the world of anyone who wasn't a real hero, which was like... any hero except All Might, basically? Anyone who was doing hero work for anything but selfless reasons. So, someone like me.

He's gone now, but... they keep saying that he influenced a lot of other people, so now there's probably a lot of villains out there with that same ideology. So it's kind of hard not to think about how I'm supposedly not doing it for the right reasons sometimes, you know?

He sounds like a real bastard if you ask me. (He's unimpressed.) No wonder he's a villain.

It's natural to worry about what others think about you. Even I think about it... and I have no problem making people angry most of the time. But there are some opinions that matter more than others and there are people you should listen to.

... And that guy isn't one of them.

Yeah, but it's a little different when the person in question might actually try to kill you for something they don't like about you.

[ sigh. ]

I'm not ashamed of my family or anything, but I know I'm not exactly the kind of hero that most people want, either. And that's okay. As long as I can save as many people as possible, including my family, I don't really mind.

Oh, I know that.

(How things are different when the person in question might try to kill you. Or persons. Multiple.)

I definitely understand.

(Even the part about not being ashamed of his family...)

... The last time we talked, I told you about my dream. I couldn't remember everything about it... like where it came from or why I had it in the first place. All I knew was that was my dream and it was important to me.

(... Which is his way of saying he'll explain now if she's interested.)

[ some of things claude says about his world are deeply concerning. but it's probably something to do with the whole... war... thing, so she doesn't ask.

besides, she's way more interested in hearing more about this. ]

But you remember now, right? So... where'd it come from, then?

(... There goes another one of his usual smiles. That perfectly perfect smile that comes from years of practice. And while his eyes aren't exactly bright or warm, the usual distance is... well, it's less than before.)

"Riegan" is a Fodlan name but "Khalid" is from Almyra. Together, they're names from my mother and father... two lovers from two enemy nations.

My mother ran away from home to be with my father. Against all odds and despite all of the challenges she faced, she stayed by his side and had a son. Me. Usually, the birth of a firstborn son is something the entire kingdom would celebrate... but no one wanted a prince with mixed blood, especially the blood of a cowardly, lesser people.

(Did he just mention he was a prince? He sure did.)

I came into this world with enemies who hated me and to protect the throne from an unworthy person like me... They did everything in their power to make sure I wouldn't live. They thought it would be easy because I was my mother's child and her people were supposed to be a weak people... but what they didn't know is that she was the strongest person in the world as her son? I inherited her strength.

(He survived every attempt on his life and here he is today.)

But it didn't matter how strong I was. I could fight and scream and yell and explain myself all I wanted but no one there would ever accept me...

(And that's the first part of the story, his voice trailing towards the end just to see what her reaction is. )

[ she doesn't bat an eyelash at the prince thing, but... a "lesser" people. a "weak" people. ochako wrinkles her nose in distaste. those are, honestly, disgusting things to say about anyone, especially a whole group of people who are probably being judged without any good reason. ]

That's not fair - not to you, or your people, or anyone. I know there must be some kind of history behind all that anger...

[ it's a different world, and all she has to go off of is claude's word. still, she shakes her head as if rejecting whatever reasoning those people may have outright. ]

But they should at least try to understand each other. Judging you by your blood instead of the things you do... that isn't right.

(...)

It isn't. (He can agree with that easily.) The history is a long one but it's not as complicated as one might think. The answer is just... they're two different worlds.

(But he continues,)

A few years ago, a messenger from Fodlan arrived and asked my mother to return. My uncle had passed away suddenly and my grandfather was without an heir. She had no intention of going back home but me? I saw an opportunity to get away from my situation.

So I changed my name, changed into a new set of clothes, and left everything behind me. (He ran away from his problems.) And what did I find?

I was a brute, a rough and unreliable, uneducated, a dangerous beast... of course, no one said it to my face. No one knew who I really was. They thought I was one of them so they told me how they truly felt about outsiders like me.

(And so he kept the truth to himself. Buried it away and became a different person. The beginning of a long series of lies.)

And that's when I came up with my dream. I realized I wouldn't be accepted anywhere in the world.... so I decided to make my own.

(Instead of giving into his despair and tragedy, he decided to rise above it, even if it meant pretending and committing to a life of lies to make it happen.)

[ this... explains so much. and while the honesty is appreciated - she's been trying to help claude... khalid reach this point for weeks now - it also kind of hurts to hear it. ]

I wish you didn't have to go so far.

[ to leave his family and country to escape the attempts on his life. to change his name and everything about him in order to fit in with a society that would otherwise hate him, just because he's from the "wrong" country. maybe he did do it all in order to make a better life for himself, and that's fair, but... ]

I don't think you should have to bury who are you so deep inside like that. [ it's sad, she thinks. and it must have been lonely, too. ] Especially not for people who could never really appreciate you.

But it's... really admirable to come out of it with a dream like that. Not everyone could.

redacted ★ claude

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