infreefall | redacted ★ claude

I know but... well.

(How does he put this.)

You like me. (It's obvious. No one gets this flustered just because they have a normal friendly relationship. ) And I like you.

(He can admit that much.)

But it seems like some people have certain ideas.

[ just having it laid out there like that makes her cheeks flush, and ochako looks away, hands curling into fists around the hem of her dress. there's no running when they're on the ferris wheel, but she focuses instead on watching the boardwalk and the beach get further smaller as the ride climbs. ]

...I know. I keep telling them that we should focus on more important things instead of... [ whatever this is supposed to be?? ] ...but maybe I should've tried harder to get them to listen. I didn't mean for you to get dragged into something like this.

[ so really, if anyone should be apologizing, it's probably her. ]

(...)

Don't worry about it. I don't think there's anything we can really do to stop them and I don't mind.

(It hasn't caused him any trouble and really? He's just gotten a cute date out of it so it's been fun.)

Maybe if circumstances were different... (A little wistfully,) But you're a sweet girl.

You're cute, your sharp, and you're really strong too. (Just gonna... touch his face and r e m e m b e r .) But you're also really kind and thoughtful. I admire you a lot.

(And she definitely deserves a lot better.)

[ she'd read that "i like you" to mean as friends and now claude is saying all of this and it kind of makes her want to scream? she doesn't, but she's blushing even harder so she just drops her head into her hands with a groan. ]

You're not making it any easier, Riegan-san!

(HE'S LAUGHING...)

Sorry, sorry. (He holds up a hand to show he's stopping,) What I'm trying to get at though... is that I'm not exactly the best guy here. Really, I'm a whole lot of trouble...

You deserve a lot better.

I know you are, but...

[ slowly, she lowers her hands. ]

I told someone before that I think people like you - the ones who lie a lot, and hide who they are - are the ones that need people the most. I still believe that.

...

(Not a word, just that usual smile... even if his eyes betray him as usual. This time, he seems a little... caught off guard?

"The ones who lie a lot and hide who they are are the ones who need people the most."

(There's a photograph in his pocket. One that confuses him more and more each day. Really, he isn't sure why he keeps it with him. He just knows that he's carried it with him for as long as he'd had it.))

I think the world would be better if there were more people like you, Ochako. (He can't completely explain it, too many things are missing, but there's just enough that he can believe this, still.) And there would probably be fewer people like me, too.

But that would be boring!

[ she makes a face. ]

People don't become like you because it's boring otherwise. I may not understand why, exactly, but there's always more to it than that.

But I don't expect you to tell me why, if you even remember.

(He leans back in his seat a bit and taps at the edge of the Ferris wheel.)

I don't remember exactly.

(He speaks calmly, evenly, as if he isn't bothered by his lost memories one bit!!!)

I can only remember the last few years clearly... maybe three or four years. Everything before that... (There are so many holes. He can barely piece anything together.) Barely a single image comes to mind. But I remember how I felt.

Different. Alone. Hated. Misunderstood. (...) Like everyday might be my last one alive.

(Miserable, really.)

[ hm, no, ochako doesn't believe how calm he sounds for a second. but this is... one of the few times he's actually been honest with her, isn't it? so she doesn't call it out. ]

That's awful. No one should have to live like that.

[ stating the obvious, she knows, but she tries to keep too much sympathy out of her voice. claude doesn't strike her as someone who would appreciate that, even if ochako has been pestering him about these things for a while.

it does explain some things, though, even without context. ]

But.. you don't still feel like that, do you?

(He is calm though. Because even if he doesn't remember, those feelings seem so natural to him, it's almost as if he was recalling any other memory.)

No one should.

(He can agree with that. Even if he isn't sure exactly why. He's quiet at her question though, thinking...)

I am different. The years I remember... I'm not popular. And I don't understand myself anymore. (So some things are the same,) But I have a dream now. I don't think I had that before.

(Because he remembers coming up with it a few years ago.)

As long as I have this dream, I can't die. And as long as I live, I'll do anything to make it come true.

[ she's quiet for a moment. it's good to have a dream. (ochako thinks she might have had one too, once, but it's been lost for a while now.) of all of the things to remember, she's glad that claude still has that. ]

Then you will.

[ whatever this dream of his is, ochako wants to support it. for all that he says he's not a great person, it still seems pretty clear that he wants the best for his world. what other reason would he hold onto that so strongly? ]

I want to see it when you do.

When it comes true, everyone will see it.

(He can say that much confidently. It's a big promise but he's going to keep true to it.)

A world without borders, where everyone can be accepted. Where no one has to hide who they are... that's what I want.

(So much is missing but he still has this. He knows its important.)

That's your dream?

[ here they were discussing why she shouldn't like him not two minutes ago, but when claude explains she's struck by how admirable that dream is, and it makes her like and respect him a little more. terrible, really.

but she's smiling. ]

That's going to be a hard one to turn into reality, you know? But... I think it's a great dream to have. And I know you'll make it happen.

Impressive, right?

(A big dream. Something to change the whole world. He won't settle for anything less!!

He'd meant what he told her. Really. Don't like him! The cursed road is paved with good intentions.

And yet, when he speaks about his dream, he's all smiles. And not his usual fake ones but... a real one? There are times where his eyes flash with confusion and nervousness, as if he's fumbling over words and trying to piece something together... but this is his dream and knowing that seems to push him through it the uncertainty. It's something he truly desires, that fills his heart with pride and ignites his spirit.

On the surface, he's a liar. A schemer. A faker.

To cover up the fact he's lonely. Hated. Has never been accepted.

At his heart, he's a dreamer. )

It sounds impossible. I'll have to figure out how to make it work but... I'll find a way.

(And towards the end, his voice softens and some of that uncertainty returns. He'll find a way... even if he seems to lose his way a little more each week.)

[ look, it's that protag energy that gets her. she can't help liking someone who has something that important to them to strive for - especially when it's something that will make the whole world better, if it really comes true.

and when claude smiles like that, it's hard to believe there's any chance he'll fail. ]

I believe you. [ there's not a trace of doubt in her voice - she really means it. ] Even if it does sound impossible, something like that is worth defying the odds over.

I think so too.

(Ah, and his feelings on this date have gone from apologetic and sympathetic to awkward to... almost relaxed and having fun like he said they should? What a scale of emotions. )

Hey. When this ride is finished... do you want to try something else together?

You mean another ride?

[ whatever she was expecting to come out of those letters, actually making a day of it was not on the list. but she's not against it, now that they've talked. ]

Sure. The only other one I've tried was thr roller coaster, though, so I'm not sure how fun the others would be...

(Nodding,)

All of this is still new to me. (There are no amusement parks in ye olde Fodlan.) Everything seems like the sort of thing that's more fun with good company.

(And he really does enjoy spending time with her, especially now.)

I'm not sure how much time we have left... but why don't we make the most out of it, hm? We have this opportunity so it would be a shame to waste it.

Mm. I haven't been to a lot of places like this, but it's always more fun with friends.

...I'd still like to find out who sent us here, but we can figure that out later. We should probably thank them whenever we do, huh?

[ she's still kind of annoyed about it, but if they have a good time anyway, it's fine, maybe. ]

Exactly.

(It's fun with... friends. This set up is truly unfortunate because it's going so well, hm.)

... And a hard time, too, right?

(Maybe give them a good shaking or scolding. It depends on who it is, really. It depends on how this all goes. Hm.

But look, they're at the top of the Ferris wheel now so he'll lean over to look.)

Look here. (Beckoning for her to come over and look with him,) We can see everything from up here. What do you want to try next?

[ laughing! ]

And a hard time, too, yeah.

[ the china dads are lucky they're like the only people ochako can't be angry with!

but okay, she does join him to consider the other rides. ]

Oh, hey! What about the zero-g thing? They're supposed to imitate what zero gravity feels like, so it might be like my quirk!

(He looks confused for a moment. Zero-G? What does that even mean? Ah, but the G means gravity then, huh? Ah, but he's interested! His eyes are practically sparkling. She's had him. hype about this ever since she explained her quirk,)

Then let's try it. And there. (He points to one of the food stands. He recognizes it from the color of it's roof or something.) They have made a candy there that looked like a cloud.

(Cotton candy. He means cotton candy.)

Let's go there after.

(Look at them... just casually making this a date??? A FRIENDLY DATE.)

Okay! Full disclosure, though - I've never been on one of those rides before, so I have no idea if it's actually similar.

[ candy like a cloud... it takes her a second, but then ochako's laughing. ]

You mean cotton candy? You haven't tried it yet?

I'm sure it'll be fun.

(He has an open mind! And Ochako? It'll be fun! Ah, but why is she laughing? He's laughing now too,)

Never! The only thing about this place I really recognize is the sea!

(EVERYTHING ELSE IS NEW AND FOREIGN TO HIM.)

redacted ★ claude

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