infreefall | redacted ★ claude

By Thursday... she wasn't completely herself. We couldn't find her before curfew. Xie Lian, Hua Cheng, and me.

(There was so much to cover and when they couldn't find her... they'd met up and knew what would likely happen. That whole time, they'd both been thinking about it at the back of their minds.)

We didn't know exactly what would happen... but we had an idea. Either she'd get better like I did or she'd be dead. Even if we found her, we knew we couldn't help her but at least she wouldn't have been alone.

But you looked for her. [ that's the important part, in ochako's opinion. ] If the three of you couldn't find her, then she must have wanted to be alone, in the end.

I know that doesn't make it better, but I don't think you should blame yourself for something that was her own choice. If you all knew what was coming... [ and obviously, hikaru did, too. ] ...didn't she deserve to be able to make that choice for herself, when the rest were taken out of her hands?

In the end, everything was her choice. Staying without us, the messages she left, meeting her killer...

(There's really so much here that's bothering him the more he talks about it. Complaining that it isn't fair is pointless. There's so much out of our control here and trying to hold onto everything will just blow up in their faces but how come there are people like her that couldn't escape their fates in the end while he was able to live? Why couldn't he share that luck with anyone here?)

She's gone now and I feel like a part of me is missing with her.

(He misses her!)

And it's not just her. There are others too and I know I'm not the only one.

Then shouldn't we at least try to respect the choices she made? That won't make it hurt less, but I think that's the least we can do now, besides... trying to remember everything we can for her.

And we'll bring her back, no matter it takes. Hikaru-san and the rest of them won't be gone forever.

[ maybe that isn't much comfort. it doesn't change that she's gone now, and that it still hurts. but it's something, isn't it? ]

I don't think she or any of the others would want us to give up on hoping for a better end to this.

(Here, he's quiet. He's not the most open person in the world and right now, he really feels like he's said enough. It's time to listen to others and figure out what he wants to do with those words.

Respect the choices she made.

Bring her (and everyone) back.

Don't lose hope.

The pterodactyl in his arms screeches and takes flight briefly so it can land on his shoulders and snip at his hair. Read the air, Kaze-kun!! This is a serious moment!! Claude holds up a hand, trying to stop the dinosaur,)

... You're right.

(He knows she is. She isn't saying anything he doesn't already know. BUt... it's good to hear it from someone else.)

We'll see everyone again.

[ that answer, somehow, doesn't reassure her. for all that she's trying to help, it feels like she's locked out with everyone else. so she just gives a soft sigh, and goes to pick up her raptor and hug it to her chest. ]

I don't know how long it will take to get her back, or exactly what we have to do to make it happen. I just know that we will, one way or another.

[ she'd gladly give her own life, to make sure that happens. the rest of them matter more. ]

Until then, just - try to remember that you're not alone, okay? None of us are Hikaru-san, but we can still be there for you when you need it. You just have to let us.

redacted ★ claude

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject