[ oh. it's a heavy question, one that catches her by surprise. and because it's such a complicated thing, she takes some time to consider it before she answers. finally, she settles on: ]
No, I don't think so. I still want to save people, more than anything. Maybe even more than I did before, as long as I can help just one person. And everyone here means a lot to me, so... I don't want to forget again. I think, going home, I'm just going to hold onto the things that happened here even harder than I would have before we started forgetting, because now I know what it's like to lose important things like that.
[He smiles a little at her. She already had such a strong sense of what she wanted to achieve.]
Some of the things I cared about most at home are a little. . . I. . . I spent so much time training for a marathon, because I wanted to place in the top ten and get the courage to confess to Tsubomi-chan.
I'm not ashamed of all of the work I put in, but . . . knowing that others have been working towards things like using their abilities to help people, it all seems a little bit. . .
I still think training like that to work up the courage for something is important. Not everything has to be about becoming a hero, you know? We have to make time for normal stuff too, at least a little bit.
And it's not like you can't start working towards other goals. It just depends on what you want to do, Shigeo-kun. So... what do you want to do?
[He considers what she says, though. Maybe she's right - maybe it is okay to care about normal things, too? As long as that isn't all he cares about.
What does he want? The dream he had before, of being able to confess to Tsubomi and walk home from her from school, seems like something that belongs to another person entirely. Of wanting so hard to be normal, when he's met so many incredible people who are not normal the same way he is, and have not chosen to either run away with that or insist on being special, but to do good for others.
He'd like, he thinks, someday, to be proud of the things he's able to do, like Ochako is. And he'd also like, someday, to be proud of the person he is with or without those powers.]
I don't know if being a hero is what I want, but I'd like to have a goal like that, someday. I'd like to. . . to try different things, and see what it is that goal should be. Helping people seems like a good place to start, right?
[ her smile is warm and happy as mob speaks. she wasn't expecting any particular answer from him, but this one pleases her nonetheless. ]
Being a hero isn't for everyone, and that's okay. It's not a bad thing, and there are plenty of other ways to help people. You'll find the way that works best for you, if you keep looking for it.
And you don't have to stop caring about normal things to do it. Just trying new things - I think that's enough.
[He meets her smile, pleased at the response. It makes him feel a little better; a little more confident.]
. . . Um, speaking of normal things, you like somebody, right? [I mean, he was there at truth or dare. And also all of the times she's been teased about this.] Do you think you'll tell him that?
[ ah. hm. her smile fades a bit, to something a little more on the nervous side. ]
Um. I don't really have to...? He... He knows already. [ really quickly, she follows up with: ] But we're just friends. And I'm okay with that, really! I didn't really want anything more from him, anyway.
[This is only making him die worse. He was doing so well at expressing thoughts straightforwardly.
He's glad he made her happy, but he'd like her to stay happy, and now he's stressed about ruining it.]
. . . It's true, though. You - you're always nice, to everybody. And you listen to everyone's feelings, and you helped me a lot. And even when you forgot about trying to become a hero, you still did something really incredible to save everyone. You don't think having powers makes you special or better than other people, but you don't hate them, either. You just work hard to help others, and make them a part of that.
I'd like to become more like that! And I also. . . I really do like you a lot.
But I only. . . you deserve to hear that kind of thing, too. I don't expect you to change your feelings. If you like Claude-san, then I don't think you should give up on that!
[ this is all so sweet? ochako doesn't even know what to say, but hearing it from mob leaves her feeling genuinely touched, heart warm. it isn't every day that someone acknowledges her like this - in fact, she thinks it might be one of the first times someone has?
...the way he ends finishes this catches her way off guard, though. her eyes widen in surprise, and for a brief second, she actually wonders if she's reading too much into it, and shigeo just means that he likes her as a friend. that would make sense, she thinks? they are friends. he's probably ochako's best friend since coming to the realm.
she can't really entertain that idea when he continues, though. ]
I - You...
[ she just. genuinely doesn't know how to reply to this! she's never been confessed to before! what does someone do in this situation! ]
...What?
[ obviously gaping like a fish is the only answer here. ]
[He's used up all of his confidence, Ochako! He's just also standing here, also gaping, growing more awkward and sweaty by the second. Wow, he really just did that, huh!]
[He doesn't feel bad, exactly, he's just also mortified, and stumbling over his words. He'd a romantic who's always wanted to have the confidence to do a big confession, but now that he did it, even knowing upfront she liked someone else, it's. . . very awkward!]
I. . . I don't. . . I just wanted to be honest, but I. . . I like being friends with you, too. . .
[ give her another few moments to scream internally, she doesn't know what to do but she doesn't want mob to feel bad about it either!! god!! this is such a weird place to be in! ]
I... [ hm. hmmmm. she lets out a soft sound, somewhere between a huff and a laugh. ] I think... hearing that did make me happy, Shigeo-kun. Thank you for telling me.
[ and she means that, very sincerely! ]
It's not that I... don't like you? But I - I told Riegan-san and everyone else the same thing, you know? That I'm happy to just be friends. I don't need more than that, and I probably shouldn't be asking for it anyway, you know? Hero work is kind of dangerous and all...
[I mean, all of those reasons sound a little sad - but they are also pretty obviously a nice excuse to reject him, so he isn't sure whether he should push her on them, or if that will just make her feel more awkward. He thinks about it.]
I like being friends, too. I have a lot of fun with you, and you're easy to talk to. Having friends like that is really important.
[So - it's fine. He'll feel a little sad later, but he never really expected anything else to happen. The person she likes is someone so different than him. There's nothing wrong with that, it just meant that he probably didn't have much of a chance. And unlike Tsubomi, he doesn't want to change himself to be more her type. He wants to change himself to be more like her - less obsessed with his own insecurities, working hard for a better reason.
Still.]
Um. So let's stay friends, but. You say that, but you also said wanting normal things was okay. So I think you should be allowed to want normal things, too.
No, that's - I mean, yes, I do think it's okay to want to something normal. Of course it is!
[ nervously, she rubs at the back of her neck. how to explain it... ]
But... I dunno. For me - at least, for right now - I think the kind of normal things that I want are just... to spend time with my friends and family while I still can. I do have to have focus on training to be a hero, so more than that is probably asking too much. Not just for my sake, but for whoever I'd be asking that of, you know? Being a hero... it's dangerous, and I don't want to put anyone else at risk just because they mean a lot to me, you know? Openly being friends with someone else is a risk, too, but I wouldn't be able to be a true hero without that.
[ she offers him an uncertain smile. please understand? please don't be upset? ]
I... I would've told Riegan-san the same thing, if he didn't turn me down first. So... I'm really just glad to have friends. Moreso that it's someone like you, Shigeo-kun. I do feel really lucky to know you.
[He's listening to all of this and feeling like, hmm. He already gets attacked by supervillains all the time. He's not going to be in danger from them. He's, like, extremely powerful? Is that conceited to say? Hmm.
But also, he wouldn't say any of that. It doesn't feel right to argue with her about her reasons, when she's likely also trying to spare his feelings. The only part of it that's hard to swallow isn't the part where she keeps saying things are "asking too much," because he doesn't really think anything that would make her happy is asking too much. But the rest - her feelings that she doesn't want or need this yet, would rather just focus on her training and friends and family - are perfectly valid.
He'll smile back - he is a little upset, because it's impossible not to be - but that's okay? It isn't bad to be upset or disappointed sometimes. That's a feeling that he's strong enough to handle. It's better to try and be let down than to continue idly wishing he was another version of himself who was brave enough to try.]
I feel lucky to know you, too. You really made me consider things differently. I'm so happy that I got the chance to talk to you about all of these things.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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No, I don't think so. I still want to save people, more than anything. Maybe even more than I did before, as long as I can help just one person. And everyone here means a lot to me, so... I don't want to forget again. I think, going home, I'm just going to hold onto the things that happened here even harder than I would have before we started forgetting, because now I know what it's like to lose important things like that.
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[He smiles a little at her. She already had such a strong sense of what she wanted to achieve.]
Some of the things I cared about most at home are a little. . . I. . . I spent so much time training for a marathon, because I wanted to place in the top ten and get the courage to confess to Tsubomi-chan.
I'm not ashamed of all of the work I put in, but . . . knowing that others have been working towards things like using their abilities to help people, it all seems a little bit. . .
[Shallow?]
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I still think training like that to work up the courage for something is important. Not everything has to be about becoming a hero, you know? We have to make time for normal stuff too, at least a little bit.
And it's not like you can't start working towards other goals. It just depends on what you want to do, Shigeo-kun. So... what do you want to do?
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[He considers what she says, though. Maybe she's right - maybe it is okay to care about normal things, too? As long as that isn't all he cares about.
What does he want? The dream he had before, of being able to confess to Tsubomi and walk home from her from school, seems like something that belongs to another person entirely. Of wanting so hard to be normal, when he's met so many incredible people who are not normal the same way he is, and have not chosen to either run away with that or insist on being special, but to do good for others.
He'd like, he thinks, someday, to be proud of the things he's able to do, like Ochako is. And he'd also like, someday, to be proud of the person he is with or without those powers.]
I don't know if being a hero is what I want, but I'd like to have a goal like that, someday. I'd like to. . . to try different things, and see what it is that goal should be. Helping people seems like a good place to start, right?
[. . .]
. . . And care about normal things, too.
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Being a hero isn't for everyone, and that's okay. It's not a bad thing, and there are plenty of other ways to help people. You'll find the way that works best for you, if you keep looking for it.
And you don't have to stop caring about normal things to do it. Just trying new things - I think that's enough.
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[He meets her smile, pleased at the response. It makes him feel a little better; a little more confident.]
. . . Um, speaking of normal things, you like somebody, right? [I mean, he was there at truth or dare. And also all of the times she's been teased about this.] Do you think you'll tell him that?
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Um. I don't really have to...? He... He knows already. [ really quickly, she follows up with: ] But we're just friends. And I'm okay with that, really! I didn't really want anything more from him, anyway.
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[Awkward.]
I'm sure that it. . . that it still made him happy, to hear that from you. Because. . . coming from someone like you, it would make anyone happy.
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[ well. that. kind of makes her blush a little? what? ]
That's... really sweet, Shigeo-kun.
[ she means it! she's just. not sure how to react, exactly. no one's ever said something that nice to her before. ]
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W. . . well. . . um. . .
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Thank you, Shigeo-kun. That was really nice of you to say.
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He's glad he made her happy, but he'd like her to stay happy, and now he's stressed about ruining it.]
. . . It's true, though. You - you're always nice, to everybody. And you listen to everyone's feelings, and you helped me a lot. And even when you forgot about trying to become a hero, you still did something really incredible to save everyone. You don't think having powers makes you special or better than other people, but you don't hate them, either. You just work hard to help others, and make them a part of that.
I'd like to become more like that! And I also. . . I really do like you a lot.
But I only. . . you deserve to hear that kind of thing, too. I don't expect you to change your feelings. If you like Claude-san, then I don't think you should give up on that!
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...the way he ends finishes this catches her way off guard, though. her eyes widen in surprise, and for a brief second, she actually wonders if she's reading too much into it, and shigeo just means that he likes her as a friend. that would make sense, she thinks? they are friends. he's probably ochako's best friend since coming to the realm.
she can't really entertain that idea when he continues, though. ]
I - You...
[ she just. genuinely doesn't know how to reply to this! she's never been confessed to before! what does someone do in this situation! ]
...What?
[ obviously gaping like a fish is the only answer here. ]
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all she can really manage is a stunned whisper: ]
I had no idea.
[ HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW? ]
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[He doesn't feel bad, exactly, he's just also mortified, and stumbling over his words. He'd a romantic who's always wanted to have the confidence to do a big confession, but now that he did it, even knowing upfront she liked someone else, it's. . . very awkward!]
I. . . I don't. . . I just wanted to be honest, but I. . . I like being friends with you, too. . .
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I... [ hm. hmmmm. she lets out a soft sound, somewhere between a huff and a laugh. ] I think... hearing that did make me happy, Shigeo-kun. Thank you for telling me.
[ and she means that, very sincerely! ]
It's not that I... don't like you? But I - I told Riegan-san and everyone else the same thing, you know? That I'm happy to just be friends. I don't need more than that, and I probably shouldn't be asking for it anyway, you know? Hero work is kind of dangerous and all...
[ is she rambling? she's rambling, isn't she. ]
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I like being friends, too. I have a lot of fun with you, and you're easy to talk to. Having friends like that is really important.
[So - it's fine. He'll feel a little sad later, but he never really expected anything else to happen. The person she likes is someone so different than him. There's nothing wrong with that, it just meant that he probably didn't have much of a chance. And unlike Tsubomi, he doesn't want to change himself to be more her type. He wants to change himself to be more like her - less obsessed with his own insecurities, working hard for a better reason.
Still.]
Um. So let's stay friends, but. You say that, but you also said wanting normal things was okay. So I think you should be allowed to want normal things, too.
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[ nervously, she rubs at the back of her neck. how to explain it... ]
But... I dunno. For me - at least, for right now - I think the kind of normal things that I want are just... to spend time with my friends and family while I still can. I do have to have focus on training to be a hero, so more than that is probably asking too much. Not just for my sake, but for whoever I'd be asking that of, you know? Being a hero... it's dangerous, and I don't want to put anyone else at risk just because they mean a lot to me, you know? Openly being friends with someone else is a risk, too, but I wouldn't be able to be a true hero without that.
[ she offers him an uncertain smile. please understand? please don't be upset? ]
I... I would've told Riegan-san the same thing, if he didn't turn me down first. So... I'm really just glad to have friends. Moreso that it's someone like you, Shigeo-kun. I do feel really lucky to know you.
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But also, he wouldn't say any of that. It doesn't feel right to argue with her about her reasons, when she's likely also trying to spare his feelings. The only part of it that's hard to swallow isn't the part where she keeps saying things are "asking too much," because he doesn't really think anything that would make her happy is asking too much. But the rest - her feelings that she doesn't want or need this yet, would rather just focus on her training and friends and family - are perfectly valid.
He'll smile back - he is a little upset, because it's impossible not to be - but that's okay? It isn't bad to be upset or disappointed sometimes. That's a feeling that he's strong enough to handle. It's better to try and be let down than to continue idly wishing he was another version of himself who was brave enough to try.]
I feel lucky to know you, too. You really made me consider things differently. I'm so happy that I got the chance to talk to you about all of these things.