[ ochako was already struggling to hold it together. she's cried once already, and thought maybe, that would be enough. but the second she hears xie lian enter, and feels his arms around her, the dam breaks, and she curls into the embrace with a quiet sob. ]
[ this was his first stop as soon as he made sure san lang was alright, and for good reason. he knew how badly last week's loss hurt ochako - and this week's loss was brutal.
his hold is tight and bracing, pressing a hand gently to the back of her head so she can tuck her face against his clothes and cry as much as she wants. it breaks his heart to hear it - the sound of her sob is a sound of true suffering, and he sinks down with her, holding her close. ]
[ as long as xie lian allows it, ochako's fists curl into the front his clothes, and she clings to him as the tears fall. for what feels like an eternity, she shakes in his arms. even when she starts to calm, the sobs wracking her body turning to quieter, gentler hiccups, ochako doesn't move.
xie lian is still here.
solid, steadfast, compassionate, and kind - mob is gone, but another one of the people she loves most is still here, and ochako is not letting him go.
it's a bit longer before she trusts herself to speak. her voice shakes when she tries, and tears prick at the corners of her eyes again, but she tries nonetheless. ]
He was - [ her voice breaks. after a deep breath, she tries again. ] He was... one of my best friends here.
[ he'll stay there for hours, if that's what she needs. he will hold ochako together while she falls apart, the best that he can. while she cries, he's quiet, occasionally making soft, soothing noises but mostly just holding her tightly, letting her lean on him.
when she speaks, he shifts just briefly away from her and reaches for his outer robe, sitting discarded among his clothes from earlier, and digs around for a moment until he can find a pack of tissues. as xie lia looks down at her again, he reaches over to wipe away the tears for her, his touch very, very gentle, his voice thick with worry and compassion. ]
...I know. [ anyone could see that - their souls were both so good. of course ochako and mob got along. of course they did. ] His loss will leave a great impact on us all, but you, I think, the most.
It is senseless, and cruel. [ as he finishes wiping her eyes, xie lian reaches down to take her hands in his, pressing the rest of the tissues into them. ] ...But, we will bring him back.
[ xie lian always seems to know what to do. it makes ochako wonder at how much he's suffered, or watched others suffer, to speak so earnestly when everything is going wrong. he has a quiet strength that she's always admired... but it worries her to consider how he must have attained it.
...and, perhaps, it makes her feel a little guilty, to have to rely on him so much. if she could only be stronger, too, then maybe... maybe she won't need to. but right now, ochako isn't strong. she's just one young, grief-stricken girl with tears running down her face. someone who lost a friend. ]
They said... [ a sniffle interrupts her, and she rubs at her eyes with a fist. ] ...They said he was splintering.
[ someone who didn't even realize something was wrong. ]
[ oh... xie lian's heart lurches in his chest at the thought.
he had wondered, if perhaps age had something to do with the amount they splintered. that those who had less to lose - that they would be less likely to be affected in such a way. hikaru's case had been so severe, and mob's...
he squeezes her other hand, still holding it tight. ] ...I saw him on Thursday, but I didn't... [ he didn't, either. and if something was wrong, the condition they all came back in from that adventure may have made it difficult to figure out what it might have been.
he shakes his head, quiet, letting the sorrow wash over him. ] ... Who told you about it, do you remember?
One of the people who was with him on Thursday night. They said... that he couldn't remember any of them, and he was struggling to remember himself. And he was angry.
[ her eyes are focused on their hands, where she still clings to xie lian. it hurts, to know that something was happening, that she couldn't do anything, that she didn't even notice. ]
It didn't look like anything was off about him all week, so I... I think, if they're right, then it must have been like it was with Riegan-san. If no one saw anything until curfew, it must have just been a secondary case.
[ honestly, though... ochako isn't sure if that makes it better or worse. if she's right, they could have still saved him. did they really fail him that badly? ]
[ xie lian nods, gently, listening to her wavering voice, her utter sadness. it breaks his heart, with every moment that goes by. ]
...It probably was.
The splintering is... it's like a disease. There is often little we can do to stop sickness from coming on, and the cure... [ it brings them to mind. human faces, covered in sores, screaming desperate for a cure - a cure that was impossible for them to have. xie lian desperately, desperately searching for another answer and coming up with nothing.
he stops there, and shakes his head. the only cure is being removed. ]
...You should not blame yourself, for not noticing - you cannot, Miss Ochako. [ but... he knows that she will. he has always, always done the same. ] You have done nothing but be an excellent friend and companion to Shigeo. If it was possible for you to notice, you would have.
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his hold is tight and bracing, pressing a hand gently to the back of her head so she can tuck her face against his clothes and cry as much as she wants. it breaks his heart to hear it - the sound of her sob is a sound of true suffering, and he sinks down with her, holding her close. ]
I'm so sorry, Miss Ochako.
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xie lian is still here.
solid, steadfast, compassionate, and kind - mob is gone, but another one of the people she loves most is still here, and ochako is not letting him go.
it's a bit longer before she trusts herself to speak. her voice shakes when she tries, and tears prick at the corners of her eyes again, but she tries nonetheless. ]
He was - [ her voice breaks. after a deep breath, she tries again. ] He was... one of my best friends here.
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when she speaks, he shifts just briefly away from her and reaches for his outer robe, sitting discarded among his clothes from earlier, and digs around for a moment until he can find a pack of tissues. as xie lia looks down at her again, he reaches over to wipe away the tears for her, his touch very, very gentle, his voice thick with worry and compassion. ]
...I know. [ anyone could see that - their souls were both so good. of course ochako and mob got along. of course they did. ] His loss will leave a great impact on us all, but you, I think, the most.
It is senseless, and cruel. [ as he finishes wiping her eyes, xie lian reaches down to take her hands in his, pressing the rest of the tissues into them. ] ...But, we will bring him back.
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...and, perhaps, it makes her feel a little guilty, to have to rely on him so much. if she could only be stronger, too, then maybe... maybe she won't need to. but right now, ochako isn't strong. she's just one young, grief-stricken girl with tears running down her face. someone who lost a friend. ]
They said... [ a sniffle interrupts her, and she rubs at her eyes with a fist. ] ...They said he was splintering.
[ someone who didn't even realize something was wrong. ]
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he had wondered, if perhaps age had something to do with the amount they splintered. that those who had less to lose - that they would be less likely to be affected in such a way. hikaru's case had been so severe, and mob's...
he squeezes her other hand, still holding it tight. ] ...I saw him on Thursday, but I didn't... [ he didn't, either. and if something was wrong, the condition they all came back in from that adventure may have made it difficult to figure out what it might have been.
he shakes his head, quiet, letting the sorrow wash over him. ] ... Who told you about it, do you remember?
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[ her eyes are focused on their hands, where she still clings to xie lian. it hurts, to know that something was happening, that she couldn't do anything, that she didn't even notice. ]
It didn't look like anything was off about him all week, so I... I think, if they're right, then it must have been like it was with Riegan-san. If no one saw anything until curfew, it must have just been a secondary case.
[ honestly, though... ochako isn't sure if that makes it better or worse. if she's right, they could have still saved him. did they really fail him that badly? ]
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...It probably was.
The splintering is... it's like a disease. There is often little we can do to stop sickness from coming on, and the cure... [ it brings them to mind. human faces, covered in sores, screaming desperate for a cure - a cure that was impossible for them to have. xie lian desperately, desperately searching for another answer and coming up with nothing.
he stops there, and shakes his head. the only cure is being removed. ]
...You should not blame yourself, for not noticing - you cannot, Miss Ochako. [ but... he knows that she will. he has always, always done the same. ] You have done nothing but be an excellent friend and companion to Shigeo. If it was possible for you to notice, you would have.